I wrote about how a serious adviser – whether he is a medical doctor or a financial consultant – needs empathy while talking to the patient/ client. I am going to say client going forward. Doctors should read it as “patient”.

When you give advice or Counselling you need to understand the person whom you are talking to. If a person has come from a very low background he would be very scared of keeping it anywhere other than a bank. Unlike this if a boy is from a rich family, he will be able to understand what you are saying. The education background helps – but the financial background when he was 7-20 is very important. Hence the need for empathy.

Let us say you tell him you have to do a SIP of Rs. 20,000 a month. He actually ends up doing only Rs. 4000 for 6 months and comes back to you for advise..you end up saying (at least thinking) “I told you 20k joker, you are doing 4k, and you are coming to me for advice”. Very poor thought. You have NO BUSINESS even thinking such a negative thought.

Maybe he had some compulsion.

Maybe he was scared.

Maybe the market went through shit for the past 5 months.

Maybe his father/boss/ wife scared him away.

If you do not know the background, SHUT YOUR MOUTH UP. It takes 20 years for an investor to tell you the real truth. Till then he hides the truth from the Investor.

Even as a doctor don’t tell hime “I asked you to give up smoking and for a 3 km walks…but you don’t stop and you walk for 400 metres”. Even such a thought creates NEGATIVE ENERGY…and his mind can read this.

Instead say “I am happy you have reduced your tobacco consumption…I am sure going forward you will reduce from 7 to 3 cigs a day. Say “excellent you have started walking..you are better than the 500 couch potatoes who see you everyday bust still do nothing. Encouraging people and asking them to do more is much easier than taunting and insulting a person. Though it feels like you are taunting and that will improve him, it actually hurts. If I do it, it is even worse. People come from far and wide to meet me in some of the national seminars. I realize that sarcasm should be restricted to friends..not to people you don’t know well. Normally I do not give any advice or feedback to strangers – it is pretty useless for them anyway…

After knowing a client for a few years it is possible to make fun of their mistakes, tell them how it can be corrected, how they were wrong a few years ago..but surely not before you have spent a few years with the client.