What is the holy grail of investing? Or even better ‘Subra what is your Holy Grail of Investing’? And when I say ‘I have none’ people either don’t believe it or think I do not wish to part with it for free.

I have always said that Investing, building a good physique, dieting, etc. all have a lot of common characteristics…

Let us say you go to a Gym and meet a personal trainer. Try asking him the following questions:

• How will I look after one year?
• How will I look 22 years from now?
• Will I lose 3 kg in the next 15 days?
• I want to get that ‘Deepika Padukone kind of toned muscle before my wedding – 13 days away -is it possible?

Now people ask the same from a dietitian too! and even ask the similar questions off an IFA.

Only the IFA does not laugh at these questions. Like a zombie he goes about answering these questions.

Mr. IFA I have to reach this goal of Rs. X in 22 years..do you think I can achieve this?

Ifa: Yes sir of course you achieve this.

Client: but you have not even asked how much am I willing to invest…

Ifa: sorry sir..please tell me

C: I want to do a sip of Rs. 15000 for the next 4 years…and i want to buy an Audi. Is it possible? or a Jaguar?

Ifa: Sir 15000*12*4 is about 7 lakhs..you will be able to make a down payment of Rs. 10-12 lakhs

C: what return should I assume?

Ifa: sir equities give about 20% returns…and sometimes 22% return so your money will become about..

C: Oh that is good. I just met Subra and he was talking about a 12% p.a return in equities

Ifa: Sir he gets paid for talking. We have to deliver results. If we can’t get you 22% why will you come to us?

Hmmm well this is somewhat how a conversation goes.

However in health the doctor should say “your weight of 105 kg with a height of 5’6″ is gross”. You need to reduce your food intake, do more exercise, walk wherever you can, whenever you can, and as much as you can. Join a gym and get to be in better shape. You need a dietitian to whom you will listen, a cook who will cook the right food for you and the discipline to listen to all of this and implement it”.

Sadly the doc says “yes I agree, stress is an important part of life, we have to live with untimely food and lack of sleep…and ha…here are a bunch of medicines”

The financial planner should say “your financial position is terrible..you cannot afford the 3 bhk that you have bought with 90% borrowed money or the car that you have got financed by Hdfc bank. Your lack of interest in Goal Based Investing or even in Retiring (forget Retire Rich) is amazingly stupid”. You have come to me …you need to do a sip of Rs. 95000 pm for the next 20 years of life to have some semblance of a retirement fund.

Oops! Sorry. Do you realize that in dieting, building a portfolio, or building a nice physique…there is only one thing which works?

Creating a plan …and IMPLEMENTING it with utmost DISCIPLINE.

We get into sophisticated plans, gadgets, coaches,….etc. and make grandiose plans….and then forget the discipline needed to implement it.

Wake up, smell the coffee. The poor professional does not want to hurt you…he will speak in a round about way, collect fees and go. On www.subramoney.com you are likely to hear the following:

“Look you Idiot, you need to eat less, go to the gym, get a coach and work on your weight on a regular basis. Most of the problem lies in your terribly stupid over-eating and having bad sleeping habits”. Go and get a life. Eat smartly…and come to me after 3 months.”

or

“Look your financial life is a mess – you have borrowed too much, you are living far beyond your means, you have no handle on your goals or the steps to achieve them. Take charge and take responsibility. The amount of sip that you are doing will let you buy an Indigo – and not a Jaguar. Get realistic.

All the best.

Now you know why I am not popular…