The day I started doing my CA in a half angrez firm, I was told “you should only give advice to those who want it and are willing to pay for it”. As usual it takes a long time to understand basics – and I understood this much later than at the age of 20 when I read it.

I have tried ‘helping’ people – and realized that they are not ready for ‘help’. In fact I can identify this on either side. I do not give investment advice to anybody in my family except ONE paternal cousin. Nobody else. Frankly it does not matter – I am sure they are all doing well with advice from some other sources. Within the family it becomes more difficult to give advice.

Even when somebody wants to be coached, I need to know whether they are ready to be coached before I start off.

Let me take a running example. I am surrounded by good, very good and great runners. I have a couple of friends who do a sub 3 hours full marathon. I must be having about 30 friends who do a sub 4 full marathon. Some of them are amazing coaches too. Their services are available to me for love and fresh air. Some of them are coaches too, so I can choose to avail of their services for a fee too. This eliminates all embarrassment. All I have to do is ask them for their services.

However, Before I ask them to help me with my running, I should know whether I am ready to receive their training.

I can run a half marathon in a little over 2 hours. Let us say I can run a HM in 2hrs 10 minutes. My best timing has been 2.05 done a couple of seasons ago. So the first step in improvement (obviously) has to be to get to better timing. Say 1 hour 55 minutes. Not very difficult and me and my potential coach can both be on the same page for this target in say 4-5 months. Later on I could get better, but this is not a bad start.

The second question to ask is “Will I be willing to undergo some pain to make that improvement”. I can cheat very well. I can tell my coach, “I had a 11pm flight, reached home at 1 am” cannot run. Fair enough. I can give that excuse 4 times a month. I can say “I have a 6am flight I cannot run in the morning” or “I….so cannot run”. All these will invoke passion and he will ALSO feel that I genuinely cannot run. However, what if it is a lie?

What about a friend who runs at 3am comes home at 4, showers and leaves for the airport to take a flight at 6?

What about a friend who runs in Jamshedpur, Indore, Bangalore, Bhilai – wherever his work takes him?

What about a friend who has run sensibly in every continent?

The question is “Do I have it in me to go through some pain to achieve the said goal”. Is it really a goal or is it just a wish list?

Do I treat running like a profession or like a hobby?

I will go for a meeting or training even if I have an ailment – head or stomach. In case of running I will use the ailment as an excuse.

Remember all these runner friends (well mostly) are younger to me – and I can bully them. I will.

So clearly I am not ready for a coach. No point in hiring a coach (for money or love) if you are not ready for a coach.

What to do? Running is a mind game. Its all in the mind, nothing is in the body. It just listens to the brain.

Ask your brain are you ready for a coach……not your bank balance!