A generation ago – women born in the 1940s right up till 60s would look at life and wonder “whether they would want to work or be a housewife”.

I do not know of any girl born in the 1970s who NEVER went to work. Most of the girls I know took up a job and then decided to give up their jobs and become full time housewives.

I am wondering whether they had stress asking their husbands for money.

When you are a child, it is easy asking your parent for money. In fact some of us could ask for it even in our 20s when we had not started earning. I guess it is easy for a 45 year old person to ask his parents for money. However, how difficult it must be asking for money from your husband!

I have spoken to some women from time to time but not got good/correct answers. I know one woman who has not bought anything for herself in the past 14 years that she has not earned any money. She says “I just could not get myself to ask”. Yes her husband is a very nice guy and leaves money in the account. Yes, she has an ATM card. SHE CAN WITHDRAW. She doesn’t. Her husband has not offered to buy her something. It is just lack of communication perhaps.

I do think it is difficult for a person who has been financially independent to suddenly accept the ‘dependent’ status so easily.

So how does a professional gone ‘dependent’ handle this STRESS?

I do think, you should keep at least Rs. 20/30L in bank fixed deposits / mutual funds and be willing to dip into the capital for the same. What all will you use it for?

• personal expenses which you do not want to ask your H for money
• taking your parents on a vacation
• spending money with friends
• going on picnic/ parties with school/college friends

the other concept I like is what a friend did for his wife. He asked her to give up her job, she said “I earn 90k a month”. He said I will pay you 50K per month as salary for being at home. She has accumulated a nice corpus over the past 11 years.

She used it for taking her parents to a Singapore trip. She has used it for her nieces wedding gift. For her meeting with her friends.

In fact she uses only about 3-5K on a regular basis (downside: he is refusing to increase her salary, saying you do not need!!). She has invested about 25L in mutual funds (market value, investment value would be lower).

So either keep some capital aside for yourself or get into an agreement by which you will be paid an X amount (even a credit card is intrusive). She does not use the money for buying dresses or air tickets when they are travelling for vacation. She pays the premium for medical insurance from this account, but her mother has independent income too!