helping your children
Many parents who have one house go and buy another house late in life – so that both their children will have a ‘parental’ house. They are willing to do many things FINANCIALLY for their children. Why do they do this? I do not know, but I guess it is some kind of a show off that they need to do.
Let us assume that the father was a Vee Pee in a big company and has retired with a good corpus and some esop. The mother has also retired from a good job but has no esop. Let us assume that this couple has no pension, have to live off their income and have 2 houses, one nice car, and assets worth Rs. 2.5 crores. Fair enough that for a guy born in the 1950s this is a big sum and he feels rich.
Wait a minute. Is he going to leave a ‘lot’ of money for his 2 children? One is in India earning well – about Rs. 45L a year at age 34 and another son is in the US earning well too. The son in India has decided not to get married, and the son in USA has decided not to come back to India!
Will the couple’s money really last long enough for them? they think yes. I think no.
What can parents really do to help their children?
- look after your health really well
- go for regular medical check ups and keep proper medical records
- look after your investments and involve your children – tell them what you have and where
- make a will clearly mentioning what you want to give to whom
- keep nominations in place
- do not invest in products that you do not understand
- if your children are not keen on your investments, simplify by taking index plans, annuity, etc.
- in your ’60s do research on senior citizen homes
- in your ’70s go and stay in a senior citizen home
- Do not ask your children whether to go to a senior citizen home. YOU MUST.
- Make it attractive for the kids to call you, do not crib
- remember our children are far more stressed than we are (surely true in my case)
- create a big friend circle with people your age so that you keep busy
- create groups with friends, cousins, siblings so that you age together
- have an amazingly interesting life without needing your children
- learn to be independent and stop emotionally blackmailing your children
- learn to manage yourself in retirement
- get a life outside of your children
- do not exercise your ownership rights over them
- never even once say ‘its your duty to look after us’
- you had kids because you wanted too
- if they look after you, be grateful
- stop giving advice. A 34 year old does not need advice. Surely not from you.
sorry had to say it loud!!
Arun Basil Lal
Sir, why do you suggest this? “in your ’70s go and stay in a senior citizen home”.
I am 29 and my parents are retired. While I wish they did many of the things listed on the list (and they do some of them), I do not want them to live in a senior citizen home.
Are you suggesting a senior citizen home so that they can mingle with others the same age as them?
hari
What you write 45lac income here many are not even getting 4.5lac Job. Starnge .Jaale par naamak kyu chidak rahe ho.
Ananth
C’mon Subra – Husband VP and wife good job retired with only 2.5 C corpus? Your blog is like fairy tale – throwing rubbish salary figures of 40-50 lacs for youngsters – this salary is only for the cream of population. Most of the guys reading your blogs are earning 0-20 lacs; but you need to adopt some bollywood writing style 🙂 for the blog.
By the way – in another 50 years, humans will stop having relations with another humans – they will prefer droids for all their needs just like people in developed countries care more for their pets than their family and relatives.
Ashish
Thanks Subra Sir.
Some of the advice in this post on Retired life is priceless.
Especially following:
After retirement- take good care of your health, look after investments, make a will, keep nominations in place, make it attractive for the kids to call you, do not crib, get a life outside your children, do not depend on children and develop a hobby.
I disagree on going to a senior citizen home and creating big friend circle. As these depend on the nature of the person. If he/she is introvert and like to spend time alone/with grand kids then they may probably not be very happy with a big friend circle.