Are we doing too much for our children?
I am by what my parents TAUGHT me. Not by what my parents did for me.
By class V I had learnt to cook. My mom would tell me exactly what to do – she would be 12 feet away, but I learnt to cook that way. I still enjoy cooking. I feel far more in control of my life when I make my own breakfast or lunch. Dinner? too lazy, happy to skip!!!
Yes by that time we had learnt how to wash our clothes – undergarments and towel for a start. We had to do it EVERYDAY during our vacations and during the year on the holidays – thursdays and Sundays when school was closed.
Of course we washed our plates.
Saying ‘I have no time’ was useless. Her answer was ‘C Rajagopalachari as the CM of Madras finds time to wash his clothes, wash his plates and write books’. If he can, YOU MUST.
Class 8 I was the clerk of the house – all the dividends had to be banked. My sister got away with zero banking (I have no clue why).
Class 7/8 was the peon of the house – getting the rations, getting milk in the morning (when the milk vendor played traunt). Buying vegetables was a chore which I did occassionally, but had a fair inkling of the prices. And since I had learnt cooking, I knew what to buy for a dry vegetable and what for a gravy and what would mix.
By class 8 waking me up was handed over to an alarm clock…or my Grandfather switching on the radio at 6am for news did the trick.
Studies was ‘you need to study and make a career’ and results were met with “shows intelligence is not enough, it has to be backed by effort’.
Rewards for doing well were almost absent – but I had a nice childhood. Not luxurious, but never have I wanted something and not got it. However wanting something had to have some moral, financial and ethical boundaries decided by parents. We got an unending supply of books and music records (or cassette tapes), vacations were nice, comfortable and at times luxurious.
Why all this background?…read on…
LAKSHMIPATHY
Personally your articles on non financial things (that too on relationship, teaching) have had great influence for me. Thank you sir.
Ranga
I was brought up by parents who spoiled me in all the ways you mentioned here. And then one day, both of them passed away (I was 29 years old then), I did learn to manage on my own. The concerns that parents have are often unfounded. Don’t be afraid of doing too much for your kids – if that is what makes you happy as a parent. Your kids will learn when the situation demands it.