Let me enumerate the list of amazingly stupid / amusing statements that I have heard:

1. My expenses will fall once I retire.

2. I am pulling out of the market at 29k. I will enter again at 24k. I know when the next correction is coming.

3. I want to be fearful when the others are greedy. (half knowledge is a dangerous thing)

4. I am right. I have done my research. The market is wrong. In 5 months I will be proved right.

5. I love eating, so I want to set up a hotel.

6. Oh These Photographs are very good! Which camera do you use?

7. Investing is very easy.

8. Investing is difficult.

9. I trusted my adviser. He cheated me.

10. My Relationship Manager sold me a ULIP.

11. If only I had bought Infosys at Rs. 100 on listing!!

12. I have no background of the stock market – my family has only Fixed deposits…so it took me till age 45 to start investing.

13. I am too (young / old choose) to invest.

14. I have a fool proof system.

15. I know my risk tolerance.

16. My risk tolerance does not change based on the market conditions. Never.

17. I can keep the noise out of my thinking.

18. I have the discipline, integrity of thought, accounting skills, and the thought process to be a successful DIY investor.

….lets keep for another day…..