We, The Distributors of  Mutual Fund products, are a very funny group of animals.

The Mutual fund industry deals with 3 major categories of distributor animals. One is called ‘bank’ and one is called ‘the national distributors’. Here it is the Mutual Fund which has to go and meet them. The bigger banks and distributors make them wait for an hour before they meet them.

However we are the 3rd animal in this sub kingdom of distributors. We are an endangered category. There is no clear census ever done, but many organisations will tell you that there are 40,000 of us, some will say there are 18000 who have a clear collar (collar is called KYD – where we are finger printed so that while writing our obituary details can be clearly provided).

The truth is we survive on money, and only about 4000 of us receive AT LEAST ONE CHEQUE in 6 months from any of the 43 mutual funds. This is actually far far below the Indian standards of a living wage, but we bravely put on a front of being successful.

Frankly only 500 of our strong brothers matter. The others are treated very shabbily by the fund houses. We are never invited to any parties or functions – except at the last moment when they realise that some food / booze is getting wasted. Yes we get the food, but normally served as left overs. It was not originally prepared for us you see.

When we give applications low level people in the MF houses look at us exactly like the durban at Leela Palace looks at a guest who comes in an Indica or a Nano. Some of us have Mercs also, but that is seen as a lucky deal, not as a real asset.

The client looks at us as glorified clerks who will fill up the form, collect the cheque, etc.  Some clients pretend to listen to us – but largely we do not get paid by the clients because they think the fund houses should pay us. The fund houses do not pay us because they think the clients should pay us.

Clients think they do not need us – and they can pick the funds directly by themselves. Sure they can. Afterall in a family portfolio review happens once in 33 years – by that time MOST of us would be dead.

So if fund houses do not like us, and clients think they do not need us, why are we still around?

Good questions.

There are some of us who are like the hen. We think that the sun rises because of our morning call.

Soon it will only be the banks who will sell mutual fund units. Obviously they will do a great job, and mutual funds will get a lot of money. In fact some of the money will even come direct.

The mutual fund industry itself is a fantastic, service driven industry. Their performance has been fantastic over the past few years – recently the employees were rewarded with huge bonuses. We are talking about the employees, of course.

Some of us are also well treated. In fact this Sunday some of us will get to eat good 5* food. For some of us the dal chawal is not a great thing, but what the hell.

Did you notice I did not speak about the Investor?

Poor guy he is still seeing the Yacht brochure 🙂