Managing Money jointly after marriage
This is for all the kids I know. Some of them are smart, some very smart. However money management is not a part of their curriculum (really sad)…so here are some tips. You can use it or discard it….just my views:
1. Decide only on the big things together: The Rs. 800 T shirt which he bought without asking you should not matter – if the joint CTC is Rs. 15Lakhs! Do not sweat the small things…just let go.
2. Both of you have had very, very different upbringing – so do not thrust your views on the other. As a family we would eat out in expensive restaurants, and take vacations even when I was in school. My wife thinks eating out is a criminal waste of money. Hey view point, that is all, do not crib or scream.
3. When you said yes to her commit morally, physically, ethically and financially. Decide that upto Rs. 1000, (with a cap of Rs. 3000 a month?) you will not fight, and anything above that you will take a joint decision. Saves blushes later on.
4. Start reading subramoney – it is the only site which says ‘you jerk do not blame the regulator, the manufacturer, the distributor TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your actions – and thus for your financial life…and life in general. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY…
5. Do a SIP in a big fund now. Even if you do not believe in whether SIP will work for you..do it for 5 years, and then tell me ‘IT DID NOT WORK FOR ME’. I hope to be around to answer your question.
6. Balance the financial power – one person keeps accounts, other person handles money. This way both know everything..
7. If you do not know, and you know that your spouse does not know, ASK AN EXPERT – you husband will NEVER ASK..his ego prevents him from letting you know that HE DOES NOT KNOW…LOL
8. Learn, learn, learn – power of compounding, start small, start early, …simple concepts you will find it on this very site!!
9. Accept your imperfectness, and start with a prayer.
10. Read subramoney ….and ask questions!
Raja
I guess am on my way to become a first generation ‘real rich’ ! 🙂
@Sreekant
I feel if one is not the kind, who always gets a headache when there is balance in account and needs to upgrade things like iphone 3g to 4g, i10 to corolla, 2 bedroom to 4 bedroom etc etc… a simple framework is good enough.
One of the problem with estimating for so many years in future is there are just too many variables which are not possible to account for.
Regards
Raja
subra
Raja
depends on whether u have done ur Retirement planning – let us say you are 40 years of age and you are spending Rs. 3 L a year. When you are 55 (let us say you retire at 55)..your annual expenses will be about Rs. 12L a year. You will need about Rs. 3.5 to 4.5 crs for retirement..AND GOOD PMS skills till you are about 75yrs old…
THIS IS OVER AND ABOVE YOUR FUND FOR BUYING HOUSES, CARS, ETC. while in retirement…it is not small..wake up..:-)
first buy my book (LOL)…then create your own plan…
Raja
Will surely read your book Subra. It’s been in the ‘to read’ list for too long 🙂
What does ‘GOOD PMS’ stand for ?
You might be right about the 3.5 to 4.5 crore figure. But, like i said before, that figure cannot help/push me to save more aggressively than am currently doing 🙁 unless of course, i can show that figure to my boss and ask for a substantial raise 🙂
Thanks to reading your blog and few others i believe i have now corrected most of my past personal finance mistakes and believe at least am on right path now. But life goes on and so should learning…
sg
Finances and marriage seems to get more posts than Anna and corruption. I find getting my husband onto the financial discipline mode very hard. Male ego doesn’t seem to allow that, especially when guided by a female. Hints, winks, nudges and even a shove in the right direction doesnt seem to be effective. How do you suggest that this be handled without causing resentment in the marriage. I feel like a martyr for picking up behind him and he feels like he is oppressed.
subra
agree sg. I see this all the time..that is why I am saying do not sweat the small things..work on the big ones ONLY..and start working towards some big common goals like retirement. Typically wife wants a bigger house, men want a more exp vacation.
As long as both of you are mature enough to realise it is ‘either or’ and not ‘both’…it should work, but work towards it slowly, do not irritate and nag.
Keep one day when you will talk all finances…so that day to day nagging (from either side!) is reduced…
subra
Anna is solving country’s problems…”marriage and money” is at the micro level, so all of us can try to do something towards it perhaps?
Sreekant
@ Raja
Yes future is full of uncertainties and no amount of planning or calculation is going to guarantee your achievements. But that is so with every walk of life. You say that you are doing your best as far as your finances go. You are disciplined. But your best may or may not be good enough. Financial planning and goal setting is just to benchmark your best efforts to what can reasonably be foreseen as far as demands on your future finances go.
@ sg
If nudging and prodding haven’t worked, you should probably try shocking him in to action. You need to do something different if you want a different result. Perhaps bring some real life events or cases to his attention where lack of financial discipline or planning has ruined lives. Or cases where a change in approach or attitude towards money matters has worked wonders in families etc. But yes, attitudes are very difficult to change.
subra
sg
on facebook i have more hits on anna…than on finance..:-)
sg
people are looking at anna & corruption in a “black or white”, “my way or the highway” kind of view. Feelings seem to have replaced thought. Anyway, i know wrong place to post this, so stop here.
fb is something i cant seem to like, call me old fashioned or conservative, but i cant get used to indiscriminate display of my life.
Did want to tell you how much i like what you write. Sensible stuff… I read your blog first thing in the morning before I start work and during the day (sometimes the discussions you rake up are even more interesting)
amol
>> 10 Read subramoney ….and ask questions!
sorry subra sir but I had posted question couple of time which are still unanswered by you
thanks!